Merchandise booths outside of Fuji Rock’s main entrance opened at 8 a.m. Friday morning, and the line to get artist goods or festival-related swag already stretched pretty far out by 8:01. For many Fuji Rockers, this is the first stop when they reach the Naeba Ski Resort grounds. Might as well get the part of the day where you mostly stand still waiting to inch forward every few minutes towards the ultimate goal of buying a towel or ear phones for younger attendees (if it is really a priority to protect the ears of younger visitors to Fuji Rock, these probably should be sold somewhere else, so parents don’t have to waste multiple hours that their kids need to have).

So if you are still en route to Naeba, consider hitting up this area first…or just bypassing it altogether. Take it from me via this cautionary tale. I went to the merch zone Thursday night in order to acquire a Vampire Weekend shirt, and took my place at the bank of the electronic money line, figuring it was shorter than the traditional cash queue. After two hours of waiting, I found out artist goods didn’t go on sale until Friday morning.

Reader, I’m an idiot, a real grade-A blockhead.

Anyway, more than halfway through the line, I carried on. I’ve waited this long, I have to buy something. Another hour crawled buy, as the cash line zoomed on through — turns out e-cash is still a tricky currency to master at a music festival. Finally — finally! — I reached the front and bought a nice fest shirt featuring a Bubble-era-inspired design. I flashed that Suica, and then was off to sleep, shirt I didn’t expect to purchase in tow.

The key lessons from my adventure in the merch line — the cash line moves faster, somehow, and that if you commit to buying a Post Malone shirt or special-edition bag shaped like a guitar, you will spend at least two hours waiting. Just lay out your schedule accordingly!